Successful Self-Love

Anyone else feel as though they like self-love in theory, but struggle with it in practice? (Anyone? Just me...?) I want to be kind and gentle with myself, but man, oh man, do I suck at it sometimes.  I've been working on it though and I wanted to share with you a little mindset shift that has made it a bit easier for me. It might sound a little weird. Are you ready? 

When you practice self-love, expect to be really, really bad at it. Expect it to feel unnatural. Expect it to feel like you're faking things and lying to yourself. Expect to keep failing at it, repeatedly.

The bottom line is: self-love is a skill. You're going to have to practice, practice, practice if you want to get good at it. 

Now, hear me out, I promise it gets better. But it will only get better if you keep at it. 

I think many of us think that self-love should be instinctive. (I know I did.) As if it's as simple as looking in the mirror and saying "Hey, you, I like you, you're awesome!" and then going about your day feeling empowered and positive. If, like most people, you've judged and criticized yourself mercilessly for as long as you can remember, it's not that easy. Trying to tap into your self-love is going to feel really inauthentic and unnatural, especially at first.

Your mind can be conditioned to being treated badly and will fall into comfortable and expected patterns, even if they're self-destructive. Exercising self-love is going to be jolting to your system. Your brain will literally have to create new neural pathways to adjust to your new way of thinking. 

Think of all the time you've invested in beating yourself up and dampening your spirit. Has it been years? Maybe even decades? Unfortunately, you can't undo years of conditioning overnight. (I wish it was that easy...) It's going to take a lot of time and effort on your part to embrace yourself and to truly believe you're worthy of your own love. 

So be patient. If you're new to this, expect it to be awkward and difficult. If you've been working on self-love for a while, expect to mess up some days and fall back into old habits.  It's not you, it's part of the process.  Remember the "practice" part of practicing self-love. Practice means trial-and-error, effort, and consistency, not perfection. Over time, and with consistent effort, self-love will come more naturally. You'll feel the truth of the love you are sharing with yourself. 

Any skill requires commitment and consistency. Keep at it! If you need support, reach out. (And remember, I'm always here if you need me! Let's do this together!)

Everyday I re-commit to loving myself and giving myself the support that I need to succeed at being me. Some days are better than others, but overall, I'm having more "loving" days than not. And that, my friends, is progress I can be proud of. 

I am worth loving. So are you.