How I Prepared for a Non-Medicated Birth

There are three things I want to say before we dive in. First, I believe that how you choose to deliver your child is 100% up to you. No one gets an award for laboring one way vs. another. You need to make the choice that feels right to you and NO ONE is allowed to tell you that your choice is wrong. Remember, as the mama of this baby, you know better than anyone what kind of experience you want. Second, regardless of what your plan is going into labor, any birth that results in a healthy mom and baby IS A SUCCESS. I've known so many moms who planned on having a non-medicated birth and when that didn't happen, they felt so bad. Listen, you've just created and birthed a human! You are a rockstar!! Third, you cannot plan for everything. I was able to do this because my body progressed normally and my baby was healthy and stable throughout. I would never put my baby at risk in order to stick to my birth plan. 

All of that aside, if you're thinking that you want to try a natural labor, here are my top tips:  

Step 1: Hire a doula.

I knew from the beginning that if I was going to give birth naturally, I wanted to have the right support and an extra advocate. I also knew, from my sports background, that I do much better under pressure when I have a coach. So, it was a no-brainer for me to hire a doula: Someone who was extremely knowledgeable about birth, could help normalize the birth process for my husband, and could keep me focused when things got tough. I'll share more about how I chose my doula and tips for how to find one in a later post. I interviewed quite a few women before I found the right one. Don't be afraid work until you find someone you really connect with. Remember, this is one of the most intimate settings you can put yourself in so you need to trust them. 

Step 2: Don't shout your birthplan from the rooftops. 

When you get pregnant one of the questions you will get A LOT is "How are you planning on delivering?" You'll most likely be asked by all of your family and friends. And, EVERYONE will have an opinion on how you should give birth. Let me say it again here, I believe the choice of how a woman should labor and deliver should be 100% up to her. You should not feel pressured one way or another by ANYONE so don't ever feel the need to tell anyone your plans. It's your baby, your body, and your delivery. For me, what this meant was that when I was asked that question by countless people my answer was always the same:

"I've prepared for a natural birth but I believe that any birth that results in a healthy and happy mother and baby is a success." 

My husband, doula, and I knew that we were 100% all in for a non-medicated birth but it was really no one else's business. By giving the answer above, it stopped the flood of comments such as: "Why would you put yourself through that?," "Hahah ya right, there's no way you can give birth without medication," "Seriously, you've never felt pain like this. You'll be begging for the epidural before you know it." ---None of these thoughts were what I wanted to become my reality so I did my best to avoid them. Instead, I surrounded myself with a close-knit support system who believed in me and my ability to birth naturally without question. 

Step 3: Prepare the best you can but be up for anything.

Even after all the preparation I did with birthing classes, breathing techniques, and meetings with my doula nothing could really prepare me for the actual experience of labor and birth. You have to know this going in but in my mind, you also have to treat it like you would any competition--you train/prepare for it with everything you have and then trust in your training when the going gets tough. I knew that in the actual moment of labor I would be tested more than I ever had been AND I also knew I could absolutely do it. I would do it. That said, there are a million things that can happen during labor that are out of your control. For me, that was learning that I was GBS+ and would need to be hooked to an IV of antibiotics for 4 hours. For other moms, it's a severe case of preeclampsia or a baby who is breach that requires an emergency C-section--none of this is in your control and so you can't get hung up if your labor doesn't go exactly how you planned (disclaimer: most labors don't). That's why I think it is SO important to prepare the best you can but also to have grace with your body and your baby if something other than your plan needs to happen. 

Step 4: Find your Why

Simply wanting to have a natural birth was not enough for me. I needed a deeper driving force: Why was I choosing to do this?

I asked my mom (who had all three of her children naturally) about her why and she told me that she fiercely believed in not putting drugs in any of us. That was her why. As I searched for mine, I struggled putting words to what I was feeling. Finally, during a focusing session with my counselor, I found it. In that moment of stillness, I felt an overwhelming feeling of connection between me and this little life and the thought came into my mind "I never want anything to numb this." And that was it. I had found my why--"Keeping the connection." It became my driving thought. 

Step 5: Make a Mantra

I think this was one of the most empowering things I did to prepare. As I was searching around for what I wanted my mantras to be, I kept coming back to how this felt like preparing for the biggest game of my life so anything sports related just kept coming up (These are not your typical mantra words. These are something I would read that would get me pumped up and feeling empowered). Here's what worked for me: 

"Pain is temporary. It may last for a minute or an hour, or even a day, or a year, but eventually it will subside and something else will take its place. If I quit however, it will last forever." 

"In moments of fear or doubt or troubling times, hold the ground you have already won." 

"The inches (cm in my mind of dilation) are everywhere around us." -Any Given Sunday 

"Yeah we've come this far but can we finish what we've started? Do we have it in us? Because the second we think we've given everything, we're going to give more. Because this is our moment and we are...MADE FOR THIS." -Nike